Monday, March 1, 2021

How to Survive Being Picked on by a Standup Comedian

In other words, we're going to shortly explore what to do when the heckled becomes the heckler. Consider these as tips for first time standup comedy goers or even if you've been attending such shows regularly.

  1. Avoid the front row especially, because you'll be an easy target.
  2. When the comedian gets nervous or has forgotten their jokes they will turn their attention to you. Don't take it personally. 
  3. Once you've caught the eye of the comedian, they will tend to exaggerate your actions (For example, I went for this one show and the comedian said that I hardly clapped at their entry and did so daintily, when that was a far cry from the truth). Don't take it personally. 
  4. Be prepared for questions regarding your personal life. You'll usually be asked your name, occupation and relationship with the person you came with. 
  5. Be as monosyllabic, evasive and boring as possible. You risk being called out for this but it's worth the risk. If you're the sporty kind good for you but you didn't pay to be baited or made a fool of so don't feel any kind of obligation to be interesting or funny. 


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Tuesday, February 16, 2021

8 Things You Ought to do Before Going on an Overnight Camping Trip

I had the opportunity to go camping on the outskirts of Mumbai over the Valentine's Day weekend and I grabbed it with both hands. The trip to Pawna Lake in Lonavla was organized by the Facebook group, Traventures and 14 happy campers made it to the venue. It was a good experience and I returned from the trip with some tips for my blog readers who may be interested in going to a campsite where everything is already set up. So here goes...

  1. Remember to charge your powerbank the day before the trip.
  2. To reach by 4 p.m. we had to leave Mumbai by 11:30 a.m. so be mentally prepared for traffic. 
  3. Keep songs loaded on your phone to play in the car or at the venue. I suggest making a separate playlist for different moods.
  4. Check what the weather will be like at night and pack warm clothes if needed. It was freezing cold when I went since the campsite was near a lake. But it was warm during the day so be prepared for contrasting weather during the day and night.
  5. Ensure that your phone has strong network at the campsite. 
  6. Preplan your stay time.
  7. If you are camping around a lot of dry grass keep the fire at bay.
  8. Bring a cheerful attitude along and remember why you're going for the trip in the first place - to have fun and make new memories. Dont forget to take lots of pics in case memory fails you down the line :-P so do carry a reliable camera.
Here's a somewhat elaborate checklist of things you'll probably require for an overnight camping trip:

[]Cell phone and powerbank/charger
[]Wallet (with ID) and money (cash)
[]Comfy night clothes - preferably long pants and tee (mosquitoes!) - 1 pair
[]Extra undergarments - 1 pair
[]Handkerchief and small towel
[]Hair brush and hair band
[]Extra contact lenses / Glasses
[]Moisturizer, night cream and day cream / sunscreen (face & body)
[]Facewash
[]Wet wipes and/or dry tissues
[]Tooth paste, toothbrush and tongue cleaner
[]Lip balm
[]Make up
[]Mirror
[]First Aid (Paracetamol, Avomin, Roko, painkiller tablet, band-aid, cotton)
[]Prescription meds
[]Odomos
[]Charged Kindle / Book 
[]Earphones
[]Shawl / Stole
[]Bottle of water
[]Bedsheet
[]Masks
[]Hand sanitizer
[]Surface disinfectant
[]Sunglasses
[]Cap
[]Socks
[]Sweater
[]Something to munch on on the way
[]Comfy shoes
[]Slippers
[]Deo - preferably a long lasting one
[]Scarf or bandana (to cover pillow and protect ears from cold)
[]Photography kit - camera, lenses, tripod, etc

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Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Things You Should and Should Not Do When You Have Depression



As someone who has survived depression, I thought I'd write this post to help other people silently suffering from this affliction. Today I'm going to talk about things you should and should not do when you have depression.

Let's start with things you should NOT do.
  1. Do NOT think you're a burden - When you're in your own head all the time you constantly wonder what other people think of you. Truth is people are so bothered about themselves that they have no time to think about you. In fact, they can't even form an opinion of you without your help. People mirror your opinion of what you think of yourself so be careful what you think about yourself. If you think you're stupid and clumsy, guess what others will think? That's right. They'll think you're stupid and clumsy as well.
  2. Do NOT isolate yourself - Doing this encourages negative thoughts, which is the last thing you need right now. And you will be thinking a lot of negative thoughts in such a state of mind because you feel gloomy. Speak to someone who you know will listen to what you have to say without judgement.
  3. Do NOT think that you don't have it as bad as other people and avoid comparing emotions. Someone will always be better off or worse off than you. You never know what's going on behind the scenes. Don't judge people by their highlight reels. And definitely ignore people who say that others have it way worse than you, be grateful, etc.
  4. Do NOT let others project their insecurities on you - By allowing this you are allowing attacks on your already plunging self-image and self-esteem. You can prevent this by being protective of your own energies and focus.

Now let's talk about things you SHOULD do:
  1. Seek professional help - This will help build better self confidence in yourself, build a positive outlook on life and help you understand the root cause of your depression. 
  2. Give in to your need for connection - get in touch with old friends. Call or message - either works. Then depending on your availability you can even decide to meet. 
  3. Create a ritual that grounds you - for instance, getting together with friends to just talk on a Friday night every week or every month. Never underestimate the power of a ritual.
  4. Think at least one positive thought a day - Check out the 1000 awesome things blog. Each post gives you a dose of positivity. 
  5. Plant a seed of hope in your mind - I know it's tough to look at the bright side at the moment but you can look towards others to remind you of the beautiful things in the world. Gratitude podcasts such as Happiness Spells, which you'll even find on twitter, are of major help. You can write each point of gratitude mentioned in the podcast in a gratitude journal until you feel you can come up with your own points. Another thing you can do is fill a clean empty jar with chits on which you write what you're grateful for each day of the year and pull one out every time you're feeling down. I saw this idea on Pinterest and seeing it's popularity I'm sure it works.

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Wednesday, April 15, 2020

10 Ways to Remember Your Dreams (And 4 Ways to Interpret Them)


According to Sigmund Freud, dreams provide clues about how the unconscious mind works. I am one of those people who is very interested in how the mind works and almost always remember their dreams. One of my most vivid dreams was seeing a triceratops coming towards me and the closer it got the better I could see that it was made of sand. On looking up the meaning of this dream I discovered that I was letting outdated attitudes control my life and this needed to change.

From a little survey within my own friends' circle I've come to find out that not everybody can recall their dreams. So I put together a bunch of tips using which you can not only recall your dreams, but also interpret them to an extent.

Ways to Remember Your Dreams


  1. Meditate to improve dream recall.
  2. Stay away from stimulating drinks before sleeping.
  3. Before sleeping tell yourself that you want to remember your dream.
  4. Keep a book nearby so that you can scribble your dream as soon as you wake up.
  5. When you wake up, lie still and remember your dream before you proceed to write it down.
  6. Get enough sleep. You need to get into rapid eye movement (REM) stage to be able to dream. A REM cycle takes place once every 90 minutes of your sleep.
  7. According to experts, you tend to forget about 90% of your dream on waking up. This is because the frontal lobes, that play a key role in the formation of memories, are inactive during REM sleep. Keep thinking about the dream to remember it and look it up later.
  8. Try to wake up naturally without a distracting alarm which will make you forget your dream.
  9. Make sure you are not disturbed in any way during your sleep, be it people waking you up or environmental disturbances such as an AC set too low or too high. However, note that if you're purposely woken up during REM sleep you are more likely to recall your dreams.
  10. If you've tried everything and still can't remember your dream you likely have a condition called 'aphantasia' - the inability to visualize things.

Ways to Interpret Your Dreams

  1. Recall how you felt in the dream. Did you feel at peace, were you scared? Anxious? If you felt any negativity, the dream meaning is most likely to be negative. E.g. You dreamed that you were drowning and you felt panicked and scared. This means that you have a fear of being overwhelmed by difficult emotions. (By the way, negative emotions in dreams are common.)
  2. Revisit your dream later in the day. You'll be surprised at the insights you get when your mind is at its most energetic.
  3. There are quite a few interpretations online. Pick the one that feels like it hits home.
  4. Sometimes your dreams are literal. If you dream of traveling you may actually be living that truth or maybe you're looking forward to visiting some place soon.
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Tuesday, April 14, 2020

How to Be in a State of Flow


So I was thinking the other day how I lose track of time when I'm at work sometimes. Weirdly, just the next day YouTube recommended a TedX talk on Flow, the Secret to Happiness by a guy named Mihaly. And it all became clear. I had achieved a state of flow without even knowing it. 

So I came up with some ways by which you too can achieve being in a state of flow while working on a task that is important to you. This could be anything; it could be stitching, painting, playing a musical instrument, exercising, gardening, anything. For me, this is editing and working on DIY projects.
  1. Discover where your interests lie. These are usually things you lose track of time doing and are so engrossed in that you forget about yourself and the world around you.
  2. Pay close attention to the task at hand keeping distractions aside. Find a quiet time to work or (and this is my favorite tip) put on your headphones and play some instrumental music.
  3. Focusing on one task also means that you can't multi-task. Multi-tasking is the enemy of flow.
  4. Ensure that the task is not too challenging or you'll simply give up or be focusing so much energy on how to do it that you'll lose your state of flow.
  5. Challenge yourself to focus on that task for as long as possible. Like with meditation you'll find yourself flitting between various thoughts or may want to multi-task. Catch yourself when you do this and gently bring your attention back to your primary task.
  6. No matter where your thoughts may take you, you need to be grounded in reality. Remember the quote 'No matter where I go, here I am'.
  7. Practice doing this task again and again.
Leo Babauta from the Zen Habits website has covered this in more detail. Do check out his website as well.

Those are some of the ways in which I achieve a state of flow while working on my passion. What are your passions? Let me know in the comments down below.
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Sunday, March 29, 2020

Quick Tips for Working from Home


As someone who has worked from home (many years before this pandemic hit us), I'm kinda excited that most people are getting the opportunity to have the same experience. (Let's stay positive, people.) I thought I'd share some tips on how to go about working remotely.

  • Have a schedule with a start and end time for work. Chalk up a to do list with timings on when you're going to do which task. Also, don't forget to pencil in a lunch break and 15-minute tea break. Don't discuss work in your breaks if you're going to talk to co-workers during this time.
  • Put on some business casual clothes and be well groomed. This helps make the mental switch to work mode easy and conveys to family members that your work is important to you and they must respect that. 
  • Consider taking breaks using the Pomodoro technique i.e. work for 25-minute intervals and take 5-minute breaks to do something non-work related.
  • Listen to instrumental music while you work. Anything with lyrics will just distract you and doing this can even be dangerous. Imagine the disastrous effects typing the lyrics in your important write-up would have.
  • Ensure that you have a space segregated as your workspace while working from home. I have heard working from your bed is counter-productive, but frankly, if you have no other place you can work from, your bed will do. Armed with the willpower to work and an appropriate laptop table (to avoid discomfort while working) you can do this.
  • Keep everything you need nearby while you work. This usually includes your phone, a pen, a notebook and a bottle of water.
My workspace setup
  • Be in touch with your team members. If you lose internet connectivity/face another issue for a good amount of time communicate this to a member of your team, who will most likely be one of your team leads. They can then take a call on what should be done next.
  • If possible and time allows it, alternate between personal tasks, work tasks and breaks.
  • Take a power nap if you feel lethargic but make sure it's not more than 15 minutes. Otherwise you'll wake up feeling grumpy instead of rested.
  • Let your family know that you can't be disturbed from the start time to end time of your work day. Explain to them how important it is that you focus during these work hours. Put on your headphones and work if they still resist.
  • Similarly, let your work mates know that they cannot reach you after or before work hours.
  • Shut down your laptop when you're done for the day, if possible. This helps you shift out of work mode and makes you feel relaxed. You don't want to be burned out, so this is important.
  • Finally, it's okay to feel demotivated and less productive working from home. You're not alone. Be kind to yourself when you feel such emotions. 
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Tuesday, February 4, 2020

16 Things You Can Do in Andaman Islands

So you've been thinking about going to the islands, but don't know where to start planning? Or what to do while there? I've got you covered in this post. Read on...

Start by fixing your dates. If you plan to explore more than one island, plan your vacation for at least 8 days if your budget allows it.

Then, get down to planning on which day you're going to visit which island. My family and I stayed in Port Blair (where the only airport in this island is) and Havelock Island so we divided our time between these two islands depending on the amount of activities in both the places.

Havelock is not a very big island, nor is there much to do there besides water activities, so I suggest not spending much time there. To look out for though is Elephant Beach, which has the clearest water I've ever seen in India. See for yourself...
  Clear waters on Elephant Beach

Connectivity: Internet connection all over the island is pretty poor so do your research and bookings well before you go there. Government ferries, which are the cheapest mode of transportation there to get from one island to another (Port Blair to Havelock, in my case), have to be booked (and can apparently only be booked) 2-4 days in advance. Do not get swayed by private cruise and ferry operators and guides who will tell you that there's no such option. 

Hotel bookings: As far as booking hotel rooms is concerned, do not book rooms via Oyo. They don't pay the hotels. Also, stay away from Booking.com because when we booked a room via the site/app for our last hotel stay in Port Blair we were told at the reception (and a Booking.com representative confirmed it) that the payment that was made was reversed and so we'd have to pay by cash. MakeMyTrip seems more reliable and the name was often spotted on the islands on cars meant for tourists.

Time constraints: Find out in advance before going to Andaman what time beaches, museums, etc. close so you can plan your time accordingly. Radhanagar Beach closes at 5 p.m. Kalapathar Beach at 2 p.m. If Ferar Beach is on your list of must-visit places, head straight for it as soon as you land on Neil Island as you won't get much time on the island. You'll have to rush back to your boat which will arrive as per schedule. Don't underestimate the importance of a watch even on vacation.

Getting around: Carry your license. It will be easier to get around on scooties in Havelock especially if you're staying in interior areas. Cycles are also given on rent here but be careful riding as some roads are very narrow. The roads leading to Golden Pebble, where we stayed, were very narrow. Transportation is easier to come by in Port Blair so no worries there. I cannot emphasize enough on the importance of the place's local map.

Things to do in Port Blair

1. Visit Ross Island



2. Visit the Anthropological museum

3. Explore Samudrika Marine Museum


4. Eat at Ananda restaurant (local restaurant in Aberdeen Market)

5. Eat at Anju Coco restro, one of the swankier places on the island

6. Visit the Cellular Jail

7. Drop by North Bay Island; go snorkeling and scuba diving here

The guides/boatsmen will tell you this is the only place for water activities such as these but don't be fooled. You can do the same on Havelock Island as well.

8. Visit the Science Centre

9. Shop for souvenirs on Corbyn's Cove Beach

Drink coconut water at Corbyns Cove. It costs only Rs.30.


10. Hang out at the Port Blair Park



11. Enjoy your time aboard a cruise liner while travelling from Port Blair to Havelock


Things to do on Havelock Island

12. Witness the beautiful sunrise at Kalapathar beach.

Be wary of the poisonous fish here. We were told not to swim or go in the water here because of this. 


13.Eat at Squid Seafood restaurant in the local market

14. Get wet in the sea at Radhanagar Beach, considered one of the best beaches in Asia.

Witness the sunset at this beach. Go early; the sun sets as early as 4 p.m. in Andaman.


15. Enjoy the view of the marine life through a glass bottomed boat on Elephant Beach


16. Go snorkeling and scuba diving on Elephant Beach, if you haven't already

We were told Havelock is the best place not only in Andaman, but the best place in India to do scuba diving. That said, be wary that if you have any issues mentioned on the checklist by PADI authority, you won't be able to scuba dive. Also, if you're over a certain age you can't snorkel here.

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Sunday, December 9, 2018

16 Tips to Help You Declutter



It's the end of the year and what better time to clean out your junk and reorganize. Here are some tips that will make even the most compulsive hoarders among you think twice and get your house to look like it's from one of the magazine pages of Architectural Digest.


  1. Treat your belongings as if you're in a store. Only keep those things that you would buy again.
  2. What doesn't make you happy must go. If you're not sure if an article of clothing makes you happy, try it on.
  3. If you're in two minds about getting rid of something, remove it from the space it is in and see if you miss it enough to put it back.
  4. A sign that something has to go is if you don't want to dust or clean it. It means you don't want to take care of it and it has to go.
  5. Collect, choose, scrap, store. Collect everything that needs relocation. Choose what you need, scrap what you don't and store everything in its own home.
  6. Declutter by category, not by room.
  7. Pick the least sentimental category first to tackle and the most sentimental last.
  8. When tackling sentimental categories such as keepsakes, ask which one is the best of the lot and keep that.
  9. At the end of the day they're just things. It's easier to say goodbye when you realize that. Living with less helps you remember what matters to you. Think of it as curating your life.
  10. Digitize sentimental items and things such as manuals. Ask "Do I need this item or do I need the memory?"
  11. Go big or go home. According to Marie Kondo's 'Life changing Magic of Tidying Up' if you tidy up in one fell swoop, rather than little by little, you can dramatically change your mindset, which led to the mess in the first place. This prevents rebound. 
  12. Organize and plan out on paper what goes where. Make sure this plan works for you in the long run.
  13. Complete each task fully. Don't get distracted.
  14. Use good looking storage solutions. However, first ensure that you reduce the amount of things you own so that there is less to organize. 
  15. Organize first, then buy. You'll prevent wastage and know exactly what you need.
  16. Don't adopt an 'all or nothing' approach. If you use it, keep it.
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Friday, October 7, 2016

3 Ways to Hone Your Gift Giving Skills


It's said that it's the thought that counts, but believe us when we say that if you neglect to get your mom/dad/sibling/friend a gift for their birthday or anniversary, there's going to be at least a little resentment. But how do you hone in on a gift when there are so many options or conversely too few options, given how fussy some folks can be? Worry not, you're going to learn how to pick the gift that's just right for them. 

1. Become a Detective

Find out what your receiver of your gift actually wants. Make a list of everything the object of your affection is interested in - not just before their milestone event but all throughout the year. Save these ideas somewhere, like on Pinterest, where you can later remember details of the product. Take cues from the past or future.

  • Are they planning to live away from home? What kind of things do you think they'll need? 
  • Did you visit their house and notice the lack of a wall clock in the kitchen? 
  • Or say, lipsticks lying cluttered on their table instead of in a lipstick holder? 

2. Stereotype Them

What would a person living all by themselves need? Or someone who just graduated and is about to take on a job?
  1. Money
  2. Cutlery 
  3. Glasses
  4. Cookbook
  5. Bag
  6. Towels
  7. Subscription to a service
  8. Tie or shirt
  9. Watch
  10. Plant (also a good retirement gift)
  11. you get the idea...
What about their personality? In case they're introverts or extroverts, here are a few quick ideas:

Introverts
  1. Earphones/Headphones
  2. Something from Bed, Bath & Beyond
  3. Reading material, e-books or an e-book reader like Kindle
  4. Tickets to a play or a Netflix subscription
  5. Activity class which involves less/no interaction with other people E.g. Art appreciation, pottery or yoga classes since they need to recharge their batteries after a couple of hours of people interaction and such classes allow for that.
Extroverts
  1. Speakers
  2. Activity class where people interaction is a requirement E.g.wine-tasting 
  3. Just Dance/Dance Central
  4. Tickets to concerts or entry to movie theaters, bars, clubs and pubs
  5. Loud accessory (either in color or in size, shine or texture of embellishments) - because not only are they not afraid of attention, they actually thrive on it.

3. Personalize the Gift

Even if your gift is as cliche as a mug or photo frame, you can add a special touch to it by customizing it with their name or face or both, among other things of course that can be personalized such as their sun sign (if they believe in that, of course).

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Monday, September 8, 2014

8 Questions You're Sure to be Asked in an Indian Telephonic Interview



As freelancers, we're always on the lookout for the next project because sometimes good, steady clients are hard to come by. Or you may even be a full-timer looking for change. So, we log on to job sites, apply for the jobs that seem like a good fit and wait for a response, which usually comes through a phone call.

This is the call that will make or break your chances of winning a personal interview, so it's a good idea to always be prepared to answer any questions the caller may have to gauge whether the objectives of their company are in tandem with yours.

Below are some of the questions usually asked by human resources. Reflect on each one of them and write down your answers to retain them in your mind.

  1. Tell me a bit about yourself: This is your sales pitch.Have 3-5 sentences about your accomplishments so far and where you are at the moment in your career.
  2. What do your job duties involve?: They want to check whether your experience is relevant to the position.
  3. What was your last drawn package/CTC?: This will determine whether they can get away with paying you lower than they'd originally intended to pay for this position. After all, if your current employee thinks you're worth that much, there must be a reason for it. 
  4. What is your expected CTC?: They want to ensure that they can afford you. Calculate this carefully. You don't want to be too generous or too ambitious. Your future pay packages rely on your ability to find the right balance. 
  5. Why did you leave/are you leaving your job? You're looking for newer challenges, of course.
  6. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?: This question aims to find out whether you have drive and ambition and once again whether you're a good fit for a position. 
  7. What do you know about this company we're hiring you for?: Do your research online and ask friends about the company beforehand. They want to know that they're not a random company you picked out of a hat of chits.
  8. Do you have any questions for me?: Of course you do. Ask about the company culture, a typical day at office, why the interviewer works there and what s/he likes the most about it, whether this is a new role that's been created (so you're aware in advance of the challenges associated with such a position), are the main responsibilities of the position expected to change in the next 6-12 months, etc. 


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Monday, September 3, 2012

Stay Ahead of Other Writers

At this point, who hasn't given a thought to freelancing, considering how easy it is to be gainfully employed working from home. But why should anyone pick your services over the thousands of others? What's your USP? That one's upto you to mull over. In the meantime, here are some must-have requirements asked and expected of a freelance employee - no matter what field you choose.
  • Time management: Are you capable of meeting deadlines? If you can prioritise & assign work hours, keeping a buffer for any foreseeable/ unforeseeable delays then the hiring company has less to worry about. This, of course, is also good for you in the long run since the next time a job opens up they'll have you at the top of their heads because of your commitment to turnaround time.
  • Constant communication with client: Once the client has shared his requirements, you should ensure that there are no misunderstandings regarding the exact needs of the project. Share your work once you've begun work on it to ensure that. Foresee delays? Let them know. Even if it's a Sunday evening. It's understandable. It's best to under-promise and over-deliver than be unrealistically optimistic.
  • Awareness of all work obligation: Have you asked all relevant questions and cleared doubts about the inclusions & exclusions of the project? Are there any grey areas regarding exact expectations from you? You may want to clarify with clients, especially when there's an unwritten, unspoken understanding that there are things you have to do regardless of whether you're being paid for it. 
  • Good research skills: Whether you're a writer or a designer, you need to be able to find what you need when you need it. That's what will make you an ideal resource, especially where deadlines are concerned.
TIPS
  • Work in a clutter-free area
  • Keep empty notebooks and any other required material by your side to avoid distractions & procrastination
  • Keep a calendar for all important deadlines for projects, meetings and short-term goals 
  • Foresee client requirements & keep checking in with them to know whether the work you're doing is worth the time you have to spend doing it. Also you want to be certain that you're both on the same page in regards to the kind of work needed to be done.
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Monday, July 30, 2012

When You're Down Avoid...

...doing these things. Expecting a miracle or a friend to cheer you up is way out there when all you really need to do is get out of your own way. You have hoards of articles telling you what to do when you're depressed. You're about to read what not to do, which should come easier to you considering how little you want to do when you've got the blues. Read on...

Idolizing the Media

Don't watch the news, especially first thing in the morning. Channels have a way of drawing you into the emotional miasma they're trying to stir up. Reading the newspaper is comparatively tame, considering that you can block out potentially disturbing news that will do nothing to keep you up-to-date on current affairs and events.


Avoid watching disturbing programmes

That counts for anything that's emotionally disturbing. At least at this time, when the last thing you need is some singer imploring you to join them in their sadness and buy more of their music because you can really empathize with the singer. Sad songs, sad serials, sad movies, sad videos...you can watch those later when you're your upbeat self and you know you can handle them without getting reduced to a puddle. Replace with media that kindles hope within you, songs that make you feel special and the like.

Reliving the Past

You may have in the past written down about the horrid times in your life that really tested you. Re-reading those journal entries will only make those times come flooding back to you through memories and plant you firmly back in the same state of mind that you were in those difficult times.

Unless it's something like this. Via Funny Diary Entries

 

Mingling with Dirty, Rotten, Scoundrels

Keep away from persons you know are only out to make themselves look good at your cost. If possible, be ready with comebacks.

Nourishing the Pain

Don't feed the pain. Observe it. You're not your feelings so don't identify with them so much that you forget that they're just feelings. Someone wise on the internet once said "Feelings are like waves. We can't stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf".


Dressing Down. Every Day

The better you dress, the more pride you'll have in yourself & the less dependent you'll be on others for compliments to make you feel good. If you win over the person who's the most important in making you look good - yourself - you're good to go. Others tend to believe your view of yourself since they have so little time & patience to intricately observe you & make positive judgments.

Though, beware of advertisements riding on taglines such as 'cutting edge' fashion.

Self-Pity

Five words: Don't give in to it.

Becoming an Island

There's nothing like pushing people away and being by yourself all the time to bring on overthinking.

Taking it Personally

Don't take it personally. You're only human, you have your flaws and so do other people. Learn how to react to their negative behaviour - be it anger, put-downs, jealousy, offended, offensive or  implications. Ultimately, we have no control over others' behaviors. By internalizing this, you've put the overbearing/inappropriate person on a pedestal. You really want to do that?





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Monday, July 23, 2012

10 Ways to be Sexy like Catwoman in a Snap (Hint: Slow Down)

If you caught Catwoman (no pun intended) over the weekend in the biggest buzz-making movie since the year began, Anne Hathaway probably made the whole movie experience worthwhile even if you didn't like the last installment of the trilogy. The sexiness she exudes speaks so much about her confidence. Especially in the first scene with the gone-into-hiding Bruce Wayne.

You can also be sexy. And you don't need a pro to train you like I'm sure Anne needed. It's all about being comfortable in your skin. Your confidence. More precisely, your self-confidence. What's important is how it makes you feel. And you don't need stacks of cash to be hot.

 
  1. What You're Wearing (or not): Push-up bras are a no-fail tried-n-tested option. Anything that draws attention to your legs – skinny jeans, skirts, heels, etc. Wear lace and other barely felt delicate materials to oomph up your sexiness quotient. Also wear perfume; it lifts you up.
  2. Watch your Posture: How you carry yourself dictates your mood. Keep your back straight and avoid any frowns.
  3. Be Clean: Because clean hair is always sexy. Also, don't forget to get rid of that fuzz on your hands, feet and other exposed as well as non-exposed parts of your skin. Get waxed. You stay hair-free for 2 weeks that way. You'd think, "Who'd notice if I had hair on my bikini line?" Well, you would and that's who's the most important, right?
  4. Pamper yourself: Treat yourself to a spa massage and pedi-mani session. If that's not do-able, plain ol' body lotion works just as well. The idea is to show yourself that you deserve to be cared for.
  5. Slow Down: Switch on music from genres like Reggae and sway your hips from side to side to the rhythm. Like Buju Banton says in his song Love Sponge "Slow motion is the only way to enjoy the day"
  6. Dim the Lights: It makes your skin feel soft and attractive. If you don't have dimmers, light some candles (be careful though) 
  7. Get Going: Exercise. Go trekking or take a walk in the outdoors.   
  8. Sing: It boosts the feel-good chemical, endorphins in your body. Brave enough to try karaoke? Go ahead, it will give you a further happiness boost thanks to the feeling of acceptance, encouragement & approval from the crowd.
  9. Spruce up your Home Decor: There's nothing sexier than an inviting environment. Bring out that favorite vase that you only reserve for special occasions and fill it up with freshly cut flowers, in your favourite colors of the moment.
  10. Get online: Check what's new on BuzzFeed or Cracked. If you're into stand-up comedy, check out Comedy Central. A good laugh boosts your mood. Have you ever felt sexy when in the dumps? Didn't think so.
Don't forget to smile

Doing it right with the heels & attention to her legs


Meowwrrr...someone say legs?


She looks like she smells good, and more importantly, clean


Good posture - important no matter what you're wearing.

Keeping it classy. Sexy doesn't have to mean slutty

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Saturday, July 21, 2012

Have an OOBE

There's not much scope for loving someone else when you're loving too much of you. Get out of your own way & have an out-of-body experience (OOBE, so to speak). It may seem like the most unlikely thing but the physical self comes in the way of the mental self & vice versa.


See the girl you like but can't approach her cuz of jelly feet? Focus on the color of her hair or bag. Comment on something that stands out about her and say how it caught your eye.

 Her blinding beauty!!! It BLINDS me!!!

And then there are the overthinkers. By the time you're done thinking, you've grown white hair all over your face. Take action, any action. It's the first step that's the hardest.

Just do it, today

Consciousness is good when it's in the form of self-awareness but too much (of absolutely anything actually) can retard growth without timely intervention, so act now!
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Friday, July 13, 2012

What Makes You Happy

Apparently friendships, altruism and religious practices. Time Magazine did a piece on the science of happiness way back in 2005 and what it had to say remains relevant.

Cracked followed suit and had a go at the topic, telling you about the things that you think make you happy but actually don't. And for those of you dreading that porn would be on that list, be rest assured, it's not. Though I wish it would. It's really tough to read a sex crime report and not find out sooner or later that the criminal was addicted to spank. On the list of 5 are Fame, Wealth, Beauty, Genius and Power.


I scoured the internet to find out if this was true and voila: the results.


What makes people universally happy:
  • Grandkids
  • Cooking for the less fortunate
  • Having a significant other cook for you
  • Music - a good song
  • Your dog
  • Making someone else happy
  • The company of good friends
  • Finishing what you start especially if comes to you effortlessly
  • Curling up in bed with good movies books
  • Day dreaming
  • A good massage
  • Smiles
  • Watching friends/family kid around
  • Giving time, talent, councel
  • Unconditional love
  • Freshly washed sheets
  • Cuddling
  • Grooming those you love
  • Singing
  • Checking off boxes on to-do lists
  • Getting your paycheck
  • Good exercise
  • Dancing
  • Cooking healthy meals
  • The hope that everything will be alright 
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Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Successfully Work with Introverts

Working with introverts can be especially challenging when it comes to interactions. They can come across as rude & hostile when in fact they just want to cut out all social niceties and get to the point as quickly as possible.They're quite a misunderstood bunch really.


Rather than trying to change introverts into extroverts – which is just shooting yourself in the foot – you'd be better suited to making adjustments to them. Being snooty to intros is counterproductive since that will just shut them off and make them resentful towards you.

That said, no man is an island. Collaboration is key to living in a constantly innovative world. If you have an idea and sharing it with them is important to take it to fruition, by all means approach them. Do respect their privacy as you would with any fellow human being, though don't worry about appearing polite. If you do, they'll always expect it, which if you think about it, is kind of hypocritical since they'll throw caution to the wind every time they strike a conversation with you. If you can't hold back on your gentle manners, bring up the differences in both of your approaches to their notice. Since they're so introspective they'll be on the same page as you quite quickly.


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How To Be A Success At Anything You Do

Do

  • Take action. The harder you work, the luckier you get.
  • Meditate
  • Be in a state of flow. Be in the moment
  • Love and be lovable
  • Foresee consequences of your actions
  • Trust yourself
  • Do what you enjoy. Let go of unproductive worry
  • Start out as an imitation but bring YOU into the mix
  • Align your lifestyle and job to your values
  • Remain light-hearted. It's all a game
  • Persevere
  • Be flexible and adaptable to unpredictabilities
  • Visualize what you want to achieve and how
  • Show up
  • Pretend you can do it
  • Be prepared
  • Raise the bar 

Don't 

  • Don't be afraid to fail. Make mistakes.
  • Don't follow rules for the sake of rules. Shake things up to improve them
  • Don't overthink or be easily offended
  • Don't make too many concessions for yourself. The 'Poor Me' syndrome fortifies procrastination.
  • Never make money your main motivation for success

 Have

  • Courage of conviction
  • Friend &, mentors to guide and icons to look up to
  • Rapport. Be easy to get along with.
  • An 'I can' attitude. A winner's attitude (even more important than talent)
  • The ability to persuade
  • Strength
  • A weakness. It's your hidden strength
  • Confidence
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Thursday, June 21, 2012

Why Does God Make You So Angry?

I don't claim to be an Atheist or devout Christian so I don't get what all the fuss about religion is. One thing's for sure...religion or lack of it makes lots of people angry.

Someone may say that the anger is necessary because people are not getting the point that God is everything and we live and die for him. I disagree. We all do have a purpose in life and if Bible thumpers want to believe that their life purpose is to serve a God, so be it. Believe what you believe. Anger, though, is a negative emotion and no right mindset is ever backed by anything negative. If you're not up for a debate for/against religion, excuse yourself from the conversation or change the topic. Simple, no?

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